Quick update: Dayjanae moved to Vegas :'( I cried like a freaking baby. But I hope this distance doesn't do anything to our friendship because we've gone through a lot. & Not only a lot, but some DEEP sh*t.. Okay well, here I go;
It's one of those nights where I am thinking. & I needed to write. It's too much for Twitter. Facebook. & Tumblr, so I had to run back to my good ol' Blogger :) Well something particular in my life hasn't improved. & I know people keep telling me to just keep it pushing & f*ck him, but I can't. Not for Me, but once again.. For my beautiful Son. Jaiden doesn't deserve to be abandoned the way he has been. You can hate me all you want. Cuss me out. Wish death upon me, but when it comes to my Son I will protect him 'till my dying day. It angers me to see how heartless & selfish he can act. F*ck me over. I really don't give a f*ck, but not my Son. My son needs YOU. As much as Jaiden needs me he needs Him. My mother & father split when I was 2 yrs old & I DID see them argue, but when it came to their kids they were there. They put all THEIR problems aside & made sure we knew we had Mommy & Daddy. & That's all I want for my Son. That duo. I'm not gonna lie at times I do get overwhelmed. Being a Mommy is a HUGE responsibility, but it's all worth it. I do have my ME time & go out, but I know I got my Son at home; who comes first. No matter what I do I make sure he is set. I make sure he fine. & NEVER once will I put anyone before Him. No one is worth my time to abandon my Son. NO ONE. I know someday I will date again, but when that day comes the person who wants me will have to understand that my son comes first. & they must respect that; no If's. &'s. Or But's. I went off topic... But I needed to release all this tension.
I still ask myself "How did we get here? Where did I go wrong?", but I've accepted what has happened. Do I wish we were back where we started? Yes. But I know this is where we are at & I am living for the present.
Jaiden & I.