I love the rain; listening to it is the best part, but as I sit here & listen to it ALL of the problems I have been avoiding flood in my head. I thought I was over them, but I was wrong. The one good thing about me is not being thrown into some sord of depression, but I am hurting inside. There's so many things going wrong in my Life that as I sit here I don't know how I do it. I am only human. I can only juggle so much. I can only take so much. & this damn Pride doesn't help!
I feel like I am drowning. Drowning in my problems w/ no hand to reach down to save me. I am trying to carry on w/ my life, but from the looks of it nothing has been resolved. I feel so alone. I feel like I'm about to burst. Sad to say, but I have given up on Hope. I see those around me, happy, in love. W/ someone who cherishes & appreciates them. I wish I had that. I'm not a bad person. God knows that. I love deep. I stay committed. I stay faithful & most of all I work for my relationship. & yet I don't understand why am I so alone? Why must I hurt? Why must I be treated like I just don't give a f*ck? I fight. I fight for what is right.
I don't have no bad intentions. & I wish they would just see that. I'm slowly slippin' I need to regain myself. I know I can, but for how long can I? I just want to be healed. I need God's guidance. I just hope he answers me soon... Because I don't know how long I can go on like this.