Worn out.

I'm so worn out. Angry. Resentful. Exhausted & just FED UP.

I don't regret ANYTHING I have done, but doing this alone is a handful. But when I look at my son I see Hope. But when I lay my head down & I'm left alone all the hurt & disappointment takes over... Then I'm back to step 1. I just wanna go away at times. Leave everyone behind & get away w/ my Baby. I know all this pain will be useful one day; I just wish that day would hurry up.

Happy 5 Mths to My Beautiful Son.

My eyes are watery & I haven't even started typing anything emotional, but just the thought of My Son's beautiful face brings joy & happiness. I feel so blessed. Untouchable. & Just driven to be the person & Mommy I can be. I LOVE MY SON W/ ALL MY MIGHT. He is smile. My laughter. My buddy. My lover. My partner. My spirit. W/out him I don't know what I would do w/ myself. He has given me STRENGTH. He has kept me busy these past hard 3 months. & He is showing me I deserve better. I can do better. & I need to know better. This love for him will never demolish. I will always be there for my Baby. I will never let him down. I WILL ALWAYS, ALWAYS, be there for him. No mater what or who comes in & out my Life. He is everything I need & want. He is DEVOTION. The only thing on this Earth worth crying over. He's the only person I can depend on. I promise EVERYTHING I do is for you, Jaiden. You have changed me. Made me stronger. & make my days so much better. I can't grasp the words to explain how proud you make me feel. You give me Hope. You give me a meaning to Live. It feels like I just brought you home. Not that long ago was I counting down the days to see your little face. Then that day came & now look at you. 5 months; a Big chubby baby. A happy baby. W/ your 2 teeth. Always smiling. Yelling. & Showing me your skills each & everyday. I love You Son. Always & forever. Through sunshine & rain-- Your Mommy will be there to protect you & love you.