mixed emotions .

i've always had this pride & i dont give a fuck attitude which really back fires on me , sometimes . i was sitting there last night & he came to mind . it was this empty feeling i had in the pit of my stomach . i missed him . i needed him . i fiend for him . it had been a while since i felt like this so i tried to brush it off , but the thoughts of not being about him anymore still clinged to my thoughts . all i could think was ; 10 months . 10 months of my dedication to him . 10 months of unconditional love . 10 monts of heartbreaking moments , but still that burning love & hope in us . things change . situations change . people change . the love fades away . it wasn't forced , but a slow process . i believed i was falling out of love w. him , but it was anger . a grudge towards all the fucked up things i went through because of him . & then i found myself doing the same thing i critized him on . unfaithfulness . it was a descion i made w. out a knowledgeable reason , but i take full responsibilty for . i loved him . i love him ? i've tried to move on . i've tried to forget what we had , but i feel in love w. the man i met ; not the man he's becomed .