sooooooo, lately ive been kinda down. i'm not tryna let everyone know cause to most i appear well, but little things trigger it. w. Davey still in the hospital & now the loss Daniel is going through hurts me. hurts because i love them & hurts because i feel i cant do nothing. of course i am there for them physically & mentally, but i cant do nothing but leave it to God. God knows i'm praying for them & i will always remain at their side; forever & a life time. . .


on a side note; i'm still remincing- i'm realizing even though i say i'm fine & i'm strong there's that part of me that hasnt changed. the part where i give a fck; not to wah people say, but to wah we had. every relationship starts off w. friendship & that's wah i miss .. is the FRIENDSHIP we had. falling out of love isnt easy. especially when it's a short period of time. long time love can be easier, but when it's that fierce love that just begun it's really hard to completly let go. i'm having troubles. i'm not thinking about it as much, but I AM thinking 'bout it. especially at night; where yur mind is at ease & open to reminice on wah yu've done. said. caused. had. the pain isnt as painful, but i do feel empty. that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach; where nothing seems to fullfill it. at the same time i feel stupid. stupid for not letting go. stupid for having these feelings even though i hurt. but i am human & wah EVERYTHING i do i do it w. devotion. i'm not HEARTLESS. i'm not evil. i'm not about games & revenge.i'm true to wah i say & do. & no one will ever take that pride from me. i know wah i need & i wont settle for less- soon i'll be satisfied. & alllll these crazy emotions will dissapear & i will look back & know wah i went through was worth every tear.